HerzyDIshtar

Hi I don’t even know how to start writing this, but I wrote this specially for the ones who doesn´t follow me on .::instagram::. where I talked about my absence. As you know I’ve been feeling sick for several years straight, that ruined my constancy and hability to draw, no matter how hard I tried… leading to a big depressioin. I kept trying and failing, the pain in my body, my articulations, my neck, it was too much, my concentration and creativity was failing too, I took different formal Jobs to pay the bills but I also lost some Jobs because my health problems and fatigue. Doctors said it was depression, mental, and 2 of them also said I was Hypochondriac ¬¬#

In August 2021 everything got worst, I felt pain when eating, started choking and also swallow my own spit was painful.

A radiography revealed cervical rectification , my neck lost it´s normal curvature and so I started physical therapy…but 2 months later I was worst. Finally in February the worst migraine ever started, in the next days I had the weirdest symptoms, I was already spitting blood, my hands shaking uncontrollably, it hurt me to keep my head up, the pain in the back of my neck was the worst in years, suddenly the right side of my face started to paralyze and it happened with my body too, it came and go for the next weeks. I wasn´t able to talk properly anymore or walk straight, sounds inside my ears, dizzy all the time and nauseous, different headaches all the day. I was miserable.

After lots of medicine and therapy with no results, a Doctor sent me to a neurologist. He was worried and ordered an urgent magnetic resonance of my head with contrast. Finally in March 1st in my birthday…I got results. Arnold Chiari Syndrome/Chiari Malformation. My cerebellum was descendind into the spinal cord, it was trapped between my skull and spinal cord, it descended 7mm, this affects mainly the central nervous system and it finally explained all this years of pain and sickness witn no explanation. I was born with this malformation, it has no cure but exists a surgery who helps to diminish and dissapear some symptoms and get a better life, I found an hospital, a neurosurgeon and accepted all the risks and got the surgery. They shaved half of my first cervical to cut a hole in the base of my skull to give space to my cerebellum. It was a really complicated surgery, specially for the rectification of my cervicals but I did it.

By now everything is fine, I’m still in a lot of pain and unconfortable but I’m able to move myself around and do more stuff by myself. I still need to rest and sleep a lot but I’m so ready to get back to life and live. I can talk properly, walk straight, eat with no pain, no more blood from my throat, no hands shaking and I’m really happy. I’ll stay at home for a good time and I’m dying for drawing and start over again. I want to finish commissions, bring back a lot of art, maybe sell art I don’t know, I’m so positive with this surgery and it’s results hehe. Want to be back at the old times when I was able to draw all day, give your commissions in no time, and still be very active. That´s all for now, this is already too long, thanks if you read all.

Take care!

-Herz.

+I'm back for real | Win a free drawing | New Youtube Channel

⭐️Hi guys. I'm back again after 6 painful months. Please take care of your posture while drawing, writing, etc. I lost the natural curve of the bones of my neck (cervical rectification), and the recovery has been the hell, slow, painful, expensive and unconfortable. I had been depressed, tired of working, the painkillers did horrible things to my already damaged digestive system, and I ended up going to therapy again...

I had to get rid of my old desktop, my pillows and all is becoming ergonomic in my working place and bed, actually I want to talk about this in a youtube video. I tend to dissapear because of depression and feeling lost, but I told my therapist how much I like to draw and he told me I need balance, and suggest me to share more with you, instead of suffering in silence and dissapearing, I think maybe is a good idea so I decided to start doing videovlogs and share more with you via social media... if you don't mind, so you know what is going on with me, even when I'm not feeling good(?)

⭐️WIN A FREE DRAWING!

Some months ago I decided to do this meme (?)

but I have 2 places available. If you want to have the chance to win a drawing of your oc, follow the next step.

⭐️Leave a comment on this video, is an art vlog, in the first part you follow me around xD and in the 2nd part is just me drawing, please let me know if you like it or something, I'm actually pretty nervous:

⭐️In a week I'll choose two winners (If at least 4 people participate nnu) I will choose them randomly writing the nicknames on paper) the method will be recorded and I'll announce the winners in the next video. Those who already have a drawing can participate again if you want.

Pssss psss... I don´t know If I should finish this drawing for the next video, or work in another drawing? hmmm

That's all and happy good year! I'll try to be active here and there in my social media https://herzdishtar.carrd.co/ I want to do a lot of stuff but still have to take it easy, I'm still in recovery trying to get my bones to their normal position... btw I have a part time job now instead of full time job (thanks to my husbando who got a promotion), so got some time for drawing again, yey!

Take care!

-Herz

Thanks so much for the warm welcome. It’s nice to be back but I’m not going to lie, I’m still a little bit anxious about being in social media again.

I don’t want to write a big text about what happened to me the past … 2 and a half years? But I want to share some feelings and stuff with you.

I got married 2 years ago with my soul-sister (Yeah cursi i know), we moved together to a comfy apartment that we rent, near of the hospital area in my country (best decision ever).

First of all, at the end of 2019 my e-mail got hacked, then my instagram, tumblr, deviantart, etc, then a big movement was made with my credit card... to don’t make this long, I discovered the responsible almost 4 months later, it was a member of my family, someone I loved, cared and helped a lot. My husband decided we must take legal action, a family fight started as result and my mental and physical health declined (again). Got really sick, to the point my defenses lowered and any infection caught me off guard.

A lot of ER visits I did in 2020, lost my job and depression hit me harder, my husband adopted Camilo (some of you met him at facebook), to keep me company , he was a great dog, I loved him, he was helping me to feel better... 3 monthe later he fell from the stairs and broke his neck, he was still alive and oh my I still have trauma about that. My mental health got worst, with that my stomach stopped working (gastroparesis).

Then, tragedy came again, covid stole 2 important members of my family, one of them was my aunt Mario, who was like a father to me. I got shattered, can´t remeber a lot about that time except the white noise, started therapy a year ago because I was'nt okay in any way, got a new diagnosis and had been working a lot to recover my health, I took a medicine that made me gain weight so I’m actually trying to lose it (I'm almost at my weight again ; w ; ), I’m on diet but still suffering a lot of stomach pains, nausea ans some vomit here and then. My medicine to help my guts work is expensive , therapy too, then I took a new job I don´t like... working with notaries absorbs your soul i swear, but at least I have a work (that I hope to quit soon TxT if I get the chance).

Oh yeah, when I noticed my accounts were hacked I tried to open a new DeviantArt account, I tried I swear but the depression was hard and my laptop didn´t support my graphic tablet and explode (u read well, the bitch actually explode and almost gave me a heart attack). 2 month ago I finally bought a new computer and I think I’m ready to start over again doing what I love, drawing. I’ll use my other account to submit original arts, some NSFW (in twitter), and more fanarts of other series, I’ll keep this account (herzydishtar) for IZ, Yugioh, and SNK fanarts.

https://www.deviantart.com/rottengelux

Please follow me in instagram and twitter (links in my profile) to have life (and health) updates... my therapist said to avoid depression and downs is good for me to share more with you.

My husband and I had Covid in Februrary, I’m still fighting aftermaths and have to take care of my oxygen and use this thing to strenghten my lungs that got damage. Oh well...

That´s all, please take care, I’ll contact you for pendants and requested commissions this weekend, also I'll be replying comments, I'm understanding this new DA version better.

-Herz